Burkina

i'm finally there.

29.1.15









so you know that relieved feeling you have after you've been on a long trip, and have finally made it back home and unpacked and started settling back into life?  when you can just take the time to sit on the couch and read and journal or casually browse Facebook without a purpose?  well, i'm finally there.  after eighteen months of living life halfway, i'm ready to completely unpack.  and it's a little scary, finally deciding that you are gonna dive in headfirst, even when you don't completely know what's gonna come.  but one thing i do know, is that He is going to do amazing things.  and he already has been, because these beautiful people have already made their way into my heart. 

Africa

road trip.

29.11.14







i'm pretty sure that road trips feel the same no matter what state or country or continent you live in.  open road and vehicles appearing on the horizon and playlists on repeat are a necessity.  

now, i've long since been unable to imagine what it would be like to be on roads that are smooth and without potholes the size of small vehicles.

and i'm pretty sure that not having goats, dogs, chickens, sheep & donkeys darting in and amongst the motos, cars, bikes, walkers and bush taxis would make drives rather boring.  

also sometimes it would be nice if there was a fast food restaurant to swing through and a public toilet to use..  

but i love road trips here and driving across this colorado sized country… and it's not just because our car has an air conditioner. 

lately

nine months in the country of red dirt

29.9.14






the words flow but they're disjointed, lopped together paragraphs that show a spinning mind.  so my drafts pile up until they overflow & still nothing has been posted for more days than i have fingers & toes.

quotes, verses & words of wisdom pile up with my run away brain going all over the place.  

i chew on every bit of anything i get, scripture, opinions, viewpoints, i mull them over and change my opinion twenty-thousand times in the same conversation.  journaling is nothing but mismatched words, flowing in two languages in a brain overload.  

life, family, school, relationships with the people here, family back in the states, relationships with friends i've known my whole life, everything goes around in a continuous circle.

and even in times of determination, when i promise not to stand up from the chair before the post is done, life happens.  and hours later when my head finally hits the pillow the words bounce around like a caged ball.  

and in the midst of the battle to get it all done i realized, that part of the struggle was because i didn't feel like i had anything big to share, other than those handful of posts that have been in the works for longer than i would like to admit.  

the thing's that were so shocking and "oh my word i need to blog this" are now normal, everyday life.  the things that made me stop and stare, now don't even phase me. 

because nine months in the country of red dirt & thirteen months outside of the country that i've always called home, i have another home to add to the list.  and the longer i live, grow and learn to love, the longer the list gets.  it's not just one house, it's a mismatched pile of houses, mine & others.   it's the people i've loved and have lived life with, the places i have been taught and stretched.  

this place still stretches & pulls me in more ways than i thought possible.  but he is giving me a love for the people that i can't even explain.  and i'm seeing him use us in these peoples lives…  

is it still hard?  yes, and it always will be, but it's my life now, this is where he has been for this chapter.  

and so, i will stop waiting for a award winning masterpiece to pop into my head & stick with sharing the stuff that drives me crazy, so it can drive you crazy too, because the world is a big big place and it is filled with endless possibilities.
i'll leave you with this: i don't understand why bugs, especially caterpillars, get such a bad rap, they're actually quite good… 

levi

meet levi

11.6.14






overload of puppy pictures, but oh my word, he is the sweetest thing ever.
levi is the sweetest and i thought of his name, so…

Africa

one in five.

9.5.14

one of five children die before their fifth birthday.
a statistic that has so easily fallen off of my tongue in the past.


standing by a table with prayer cards, pictures and information, i would tell people of the poverty and hunger.
of the short lived lives and the high mortality rates, that one in five children die before their fifth birthday. 






i don't fully realize what those words meant.
i tried, but i couldn't completely wrap my mind around something that big, that heart wrenching.
maybe it was to protect my heart, 
maybe it was because i was distracted in the rush of things, 
or maybe it was because i couldn't.
i didn't have a way to wrap my mind around it, i had no "box" to put it in yet. 


but now looking at their sweet, dirty little faces, my heart breaks. 
knowing that it's possible  probable for one of these five kids to die before their 5th birthday.
it makes me cry
life is so precious, so fragile.
i reminded of it here daily.






i hear about friends who went to the hospital because of a stomachache,
why go to the hospital for only a stomachache, we wonder.
ad then we hear of the people who died after having a stomachache and not going.
the numbers now have faces and personality.
the statistics names and preferences.


how do i begin to deal with it, grapple with the weight of it all?


life here has no happy ending. 
there is no light at the end of the tunnel,
except for The Light.
the only One who can provide any hope in this dark, dangerous world we live in.

Africa

lately...

6.5.14





+feeling nostalgic and wishing for rain like we got 2 weeks ago so i can dance in it, much to my                   neighbors surprise
+settling back in from being at camp in the capitol (hopefully pics are soon to come)
+going through long ago forgotten posts and pics
+worrying about the baby in the yard behind us that cries all the time
+making lists of people to write(back)
+writing papers on greek mythology
+listening to my ipod on shuffle
+cooking dinner, it involves being in the kitchen for hours (2 tonight) and sweating.  a lot.
+reading through the old testament
+brainstorming for new post ideas
+longing for good, consistent internet
+needing a schedule for school, blogging, writing, and pretty much everything else, but in africa schedules are a little harder to stick to than elsewhere
+marking the days off the calendar
+searching for new books to read (suggestions?)
+loving the new blog design (thanks rose)
+looking forward to not traveling anywhere for a little bit
+planning on posting more
+checking mail tomorrow
+thinking a lot
+journaling even more
+running out of things to say….

xoxojana

Burkina

black and white, the little things in life

8.4.14







black and white, the little things in life.  this is what has come out of a lot writing, erasing, deleting and rewriting.  i hope that it's clear and that my heart can be heard even through my mess of words... 

i think that somewhere along the way of my blogging journey, i don't know where, but somewhere i stopped looking at this blog as mine.  i saw it only as a ministry tool, a way for people to keep track of our traveling and ministry in the last year and a half.  

you've probably noticed, (being the observant bunch that you are), that i haven't been posting a lot lately.  that's for a couple of reason, one of them being that my writing has been changing so much, sometimes i don't even recognize it as my own.  but the main reason is that i've been having a hard time finding the motivation to post, mainly because i felt that it needed to be in a certain way.  i've been trying to make sure that i share the main ministry highlights, being positive and showing the parts that people want to see; working with our neighbors, spending time with the neighborhood kids and the insane capabilities burkinabe have for (over)loading trucks.  

i have been sharing the ministry parts of life, the highlights, but i haven't been sharing the life behind the ministry; the sleepless nights because of the heat or the exhaustion of always having to be "on", and ready for people.  the whole reason i started this blog was to bring other people along with me, to have an online journal that other people could peak into and see what the Lord does with my life, to share the good, the bad and the ugly.  this is my means of sharing how i feel and what i experience, it won't always be in a perfectly crafted post,  but (hopefully) i will always be able get the heart behind the words across. 

because i don't have much contact with kids my age here (the closest girl my age, who speaks english, being four hours away), i haven't  had someone i can get comfy on a couch with and spill my guts to in quite a while.  i always have my mom and dad (who have been amazing through this whole transition process, from the last few months in the states to coming here), but they're going though the same things i am, and more, they're trying to figure out how to raise a family, live life and do ministry here.  they are always there for me, but sometimes, just like anywhere else in the world, sometimes you need an outside ear to listen.  and this is the closest thing i have to a comfy couch and someone to talk about life with, this blog is my couch and y'all are my someones. 

even though i'm an introvert (and, no that doesn't mean i hate people), i need fellowship and community, which is kinda hard to come by when you're eight hours away from the majority of the small, english speaking community here in burkina.  some days are harder than others, but lately they've been harder.  the Lord has done an amazing thing through this little blog of mine, He has brought me a community of folks from around the world.  given me a little community all of my own, via the web.  it's pretty awesome how He can use people you don't even know, to encourage you and lift you up on the hard days. 

you guys don't know how much it means to know that there are people, whom i haven't even met before, lifting me up in prayer before the throne of grace.

i realize that no one really wants to see the ugly parts of life, i know i don't.  but life has a way of being just as ugly as it is beautiful at times, and it seems that over here the hard parts come a little faster.  most days i can take the hard parts as confirmation that we are supposed to be here, someone is pushing back our advances for the Kingdom.  so we press further into God and push forward a little harder.  but other days it's hard to see the reason behind the push-back when you're laid out, flat on your back.   

one of the reasons that i've shied away from writing about the hard parts of life is because of the effects it might have.  it's scary to talk about the hard parts of life for fear of people only seeing it as whining and complaining.  it's hard to risk what people may think of you all for the sake of being honest.
i've spent hours thinking, praying and writing, trying to find a way to not come across as just complaining about the hard parts of life.  and i've come to realize, that i can only do so much, i can do my best, and the rest it up to the Lord and the reader.  the spirit in which the writing is read, is just as important as the spirit in which it is written.

i think that most of you, who don't know me in person, have been around long enough that you have a pretty good idea of who i am, though i'm not sure if that's good or bad...  but you guys have stuck with me this far and i am trusting that you know my heart.  you guys can handle me being honest about the good, the bad and the ugly, you can be my willing ears, and i praise God for that.  

so here's to a sort of restart to this blog.  to a blog where i can share my heart and thoughts of life, the good, the bad and the ugly.  and all (hopefully) without making anyone feel like they've been smacked, well maybe occasionally a "wake-up and smell the coffee" smack, but not one that lays you flat.

i thank God for you every time i remember you. in all my prayers for all of you, i always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident in this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:3-6

this has been my prayer for you guys, my little web community that the Lord has used in huge ways.  

love in Christ,
jana

p.s. the photos have nothing to do with the post, except for the fact that i like them and they are little parts of my everyday life.  the windows in this house all have this weird reflective coating on them, so when the windows are open, i pretty much live in a house of mirrors.  which isn't too bad, except for the fact that most days, whether out of laziness or the simplicity of life here, i don't give a second thought to what i look like….

Africa

untitled

27.3.14


"If wealth was the inevitable result of hard work and enterprise, every woman in Africa would be a millionaire."
-George Monlot

Africa

going to the foire

16.3.14



driving down dusty dirt roads lined with 100 year old trees and listening to Mumford & Sons is enough to get anyone in a sentimental mood, despite the incessant bumping, road work and cattle crossings.           


armed with camera, ridiculously floppy hat and sunglasses i wander through the masses of people, taking in the smells, sights and sounds that are africa.      


smoked catfish that has been away from the water so long it no longer deserves to even be called a fish are mounded on tables. 


never have i felt what it's like to be celebrity, but now that i have, i know that i don't like it.  it makes me smile at first, guys hurriedly pulling out their cellphones to take pictures of the sweaty, sunburned tubaboo, maybe it was the awesome hat and sunglasses that made them think i had celebrity status…. 


things made by hand, with tools that would have been used in Bible times are sold for a fraction of the price that you would have imagined


chenilles (caterpillars) sit in an old, red bowl waiting to be bought, fried and consumed.  woman hurry to shout their prices and assure you of the quality of their goods



rustic, handmade tools like those you would see in a museum are, are highly coveted and longed for,  items that most people wouldn't take a second glance at are the only means to live in this harsh place  


animals brought from near and far are shown with pride, an animal that would take a man's years wages  to buy


"fresh" fish sitting in 106 degrees, in a landlocked country, what exactly is the definition of fresh? 


empty water pouches litter the dry earth, bright colors stand out against the dull, red earth.  
earthen pots, made by hand and carefully brought are showcased to all.


all of this and more is the nations agricultural fair, people trying to learn how to not only survive in this harsh place, but thrive.  

Lord, show us how to help your people here. 
 Let us be the hands and feet of Christ, let us bring the Living Water to this dry and dusty land. 

Africa

month #2

27.2.14

It sure doesn't feel like we've been here 2 months already.  Crazy how fast time flies when your living in Africa.  Here are a couple of things that I've learned the 2 months we've been here, this isn't even close to everything I've discovered but none of us have the time to go over all that.  So here's some randomness:

I have learned that Africa has the most beautiful sunsets, ever. 
 'nough said.


 I have learned that there is never a limit to how many animals you can fit on one bike or motto.  
Whether it's who-know-how-many chickens, 4 goats, or 3 sheep, it can be done.  Sorry the pic is a little blurry and unimpressive, most times it's hard to see the guy through all the feathers but you get the idea.  This guy had 2 goats, a bunch of chickens, and even more guinea fowl tied to his handlebars.  
The phrase "Where there's a will there's a way" takes on a whole new meaning here. 

 I have learned that, as hard as curly hair is to try to control in the states, it is impossible to do here.  I think I've worn my hair down a total of about 10 times in 2 months, and I'm very proud of myself that it's been that much.  And the whole "where there's a will there's a way thing" doesn't apply to my hair, sadly.  I've tried more things than you could shake a stick at, but if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears.
  So far, the beast remains untamed….

I have learned that some fruit can weigh up to 30 pounds.  And it's a little scary when you have a 30-foot tree in your courtyard (which you walk under) that is full of them.  But it's totally worth the tiny bit of anxiety they cause when they become your favorite fruit.  The Jackfruit in this pictures is the smallest one we've gotten, the other ones have been about double this size.  You should google it, it's really weird looking inside, kinda like a Star Trek creature, but they taste amazing!!

I have learned to figure out time-differences around the world very quickly and efficiently.  One of the biggest, unexpected blessing that we have had since being here is finding out that our internet is (most times) good enough to use FaceTime and Skype.  It's not the best video quality by any means but being able to hear people's voices and kinda "see" them has been amazing!  Sorry, the photos a little blurry and I'm a mess.  But in my defense it was 10:15 pm and my chance to talk with some of my dear friends, so it was all worth it!

 I've learned that tank-tops are my best friends.  My amassing of old navy tanks over the years has finally paid off.  But no clothing here lasts very long between dirt, sweat (gross but true), working and how hard washing is on everything…. 


 I have learned (or been reminded) of how blessed I am.  It's unbelievable the things that I took/take for grated.  Some of it is not having things here that I miss from the states, but it's also realizing how good we have it here.  I can whine and complain about the heat and dirt, but we have the ability to have fans and stay clean(ish).  I am so blessed to have the life I had, and have now.  Random pic of someone burning their field.
~

I was thinking about trying to do a video, but actually post it this time.  The one I tried to do in France was a smashing failure, I took way too long making it and then moving to another continent got in the way.  So now that there aren't any trans-continental moves in my foreseeable future, I thought I'd try again!!  I tried to make one the other day but had no idea what to say, and sitting alone on your porch talking to a laptop is a little bizarre.  So  I thought I'd ask if you guys have any questions about life here,  in France, etc. and then it might make a video a little easier to make.

Love in Christ,
Jana