Me

box of contradictions.

26.4.15



i wanted to write down exactly what i felt 
but somehow the paper stayed empty and i
could not have described it any better. | mlk
  




my mind pings between missional theological ideas + handfuls of newly-discovered poetry and worldview essays + the importance of coffee + chocolate.  of poverty, loss + pain and the amazing, extraordinary, love of our Father. 

i see outrageous joy + hope in the face of incredible loss + fear.

i think, drink, sleep in the language of my past + live among others in one that is slowly beginning to feel less wooden on my tongue. 

i have a crush on the sky which holds the stars, moon + sun that are painted each day + night by the one who loves my soul and i get lost in this earth that holds the seas, mountains + cities that i love. 

i flip-flop between dreams of being a elegant, stoic picture of grace + simplicity and a bare-foot, starry eyed, girl with leaves in her hair.

i'm a black + white soul with a love for rainbow colors.

i'm a ripped, dog-eared journal who thinks better on a bright, blinking screen. 

i live in the red, dirt desert of africa but have an unhealthy love for water + rain. 

i'm a hopeless sinner who has been made saved by grace and am now forever called His.

i'm a box of contradictions with a long, winding path of learning ahead of me with an amazing Shepherd to lead me. 

life + light up burkina.

15.4.15









'





life is weird isn't it?  it moves on wherever you go, the days slowly marching past, sometimes casually strolling and other times sprinting.  the days, weeks + months seem to be slipping through my fingers.  leaving me constantly searching for the right date in my head.  

and sometimes it all pushes in, and i start to choke.  that impending thing that means that you have to make your own choices and become your own person is looming on the horizon, along with all the wonderfully terrifying things that come with it.  and i fill every day with the "have-to's" and the "must's" and i end up blocking the "get-to's" and the "can's".  

but you know what?  He is so, so good!  because when i let textbooks and tests get in the way, he brings things that pull me away and force me to breathe.  like when all of a sudden we were going to the bible school that is half-way up our colorado sized country to put in a new drip-water kit for this tired, so very dry ground.  

and it ended up being two unbelievably hot and uncomfortable days, filled with no reprieve and some of the biggest spiders that have ever walked on this earth.  but there was fellowship with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who are giving it all to serve him.  

these people are so amazing.  i could go on for hours and hours, spilling story after story of families who have left all that they know, to move to a new village that has yet to hear the Word, the sacrifices that are made all for the glory of Christ.  i look at my brothers and sisters and all my self-pity goes out the door.  the struggle of heat and loneliness and everything else, suddenly loses all the crushing weight that it seemed to have.  not that it's not still hotter than, well i don't know what, it's just really hot, but when i take my eyes off of the struggle of my life and see what others are sacrificing,  my life isn't so bad.  in fact, it's pretty darn amazing.  

now, part two of this long rampage is to share what the Lord has been doing here ministry wise, specifically.  because i'm really excited and the Lord is doing amazing, awesome things here!

so we have a website, light up burkina, and you can go check it out to see what we are doing.  my dad started a blog on the website that has more ministry focused updates on stuff like building churches, village church planters, animal husbandry and micro finance projects and all that jazz.  also, more specific ways to be involved and information about what it would be like to come visit. 

God is doing awesome things, guys!