i went too deep.  i dove too fast.
i better paddle up, gotta give them back their air.
i hit them too hard, knocked it out of them.
gotta go back, gotta surface.
keep it light, keep it fluffy.
keep it small talk, homework talk, how was your day talk.
they haven't been there, couldn't have been there, maybe don't wanna ever get there.
but that's what i've got.
that's what i've learned.
gotta talk about what matters first, cause who knows how long you've got.
a day, a week, a month.
you can fill in the gaps later, but first let's get real.
let's talk about what He's done, what He's doing and what you hope He does.
about where He's taken you, or where He hasn't but you wish He had, and want Him too.

but i can't.
i gotta keep it simple, on the surface.
i gotta dance around the cultural unspokens that i don't know yet, just like i had to learn them across the pond.
back to the beginnings.
back to the basics
back to baby steps and fumbling falls.

leaning on Him.
learning again and again.
being humbled and realizing how little + small i am all over again.

trying to find why He has me where i am, just like He had me there then.
and i'm learning, He's softening my heart, opening my eyes to see + giving me a love for people, just like He always has done.

so...